Of the Art of Conference

The most fruitful and natural exercise of the mind, in my opinion, is conversation. I find it sweeter than any other action of life; and if I were forced to choose, I should sooner consent to lose my sight than my hearing or speech. The Athenians, and after them the Romans, held this exercise in great honour in their academies. In our age, Italians retain some traces of it, to great advantage — as witness the disputations that were held before the great Marguerite of Navarre.

I love a stout and manly fellowship and familiarity; a friendship that prides itself in the sharpness and vigour of its communication. My mind is brisk and bold, and can maintain itself; a contradiction does not discompose but rather wakes and exercises it. I flee weak and soft, easy conversation, which never gives me anything to hold on to. The pleasure of the discourse must have something of edge; it must be more than mutual flattery.

The most useful and natural exercise of our mind is, in my opinion, conversation.

I take great pleasure in a man who contradicts me, who attacks me sharply; his resistance stirs and exercises me far more than his agreement. But I require that the contradiction be honest, and the adversary be in earnest. He who cries out against my views while secretly agreeing with them, who makes a noise of debate where he intends only to display himself, is the most wearisome of company. And I will not argue with a man who grows angry. When the voice rises and the cheeks colour, the reason has already left the room.

To contradict opinions — yes. To insult the man who holds them — never. These two things are frequently confounded, by those who have too much heat, and by those who have too little clarity. It is possible to say “you are wrong, and here is why” without saying “you are a fool.” Indeed, the former is useful and the latter is not, for no man was ever reasoned out of a position by being mocked for holding it. I would rather spend an afternoon with a man who argues well against me than a week with a man who agrees with everything I say.